Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A year ago today..excerpt from my journal!

One year ago today was my due date when I was pregnant with Evelyn (I didn't have her until the 5th though). I thought it would be neat to share a journal entry from today last is cool seeing my thoughts then, and now a year later, how things have changed ( or not!). You better enjoy this, it's not everyday I let the whole world wide web read my private journal ;-) Here it is...

"Wow, I can't believe this date is actually here! Not sure yet of its significance in future years- but hoping it will be the birthday of our first son or daughter! Lord, as I stand on the verge of this huge and unknown journey- I know I need You! I know that in and of myself I am no example to this child and doomed to failure and frustration. I do not want to embark on this journey of motherhood without You! Lord, first of all You know my anxieties... thinking about the labor & timing of everything. Only You know. Your timing & plans are perfect, & so is Your love for me. You hold Forest's, mine, & our baby's feeble lives in Your all-wise hand. God, forgive me for having such a narrow view of You. I evidence that in my worry over things that You alone control. TEACH ME TO TRUST YOU! Teach me to cast my cares upon You & leave them. Let Your peace- the only lasting peace- rule in me and spill out of me. You have given us all the necessary tools to become godly parents. Your Spirit, Your power, Your Word, Your wisdom! Turn my worry into prayer; my insecurities into confidence in You; my fear into a a whole-hearted trust; my apathy into intense desire to know You; my reservations into sacrifice for Your kingdom.  

Lord, I pray for safety on the way to the hospital and through the labor & delivery. May you be given glory for this blessing beyond anything we deserve!"

There it is. I only took out a chunk on the middle to save you from boredom :-). I remember being so worried because I delivered her at Farview which is a good 35 minutes away, and it being February I was terrified of being caught in a snow storm and having a baby on the side of the road in a snow bank haha! I laugh now..but it was a real fear! It is amazing to see how the Lord answered. The night we went was perfectly clear and beautiful and no traffic ( it WAS 2 am, though!). The next day when I had her there was a really bad snow storm and the roads were horrible! And the smooth delivery of our dear Ev... I will post again later about her birthday and all the sad sentimental things that come with your first child turning one! Thanks for reading :-)